An email from one of our current brides: I’m having some bridesmaid drama at the moment, and she’s decided to back out before the wedding. I’m really hurt. What do I do?
Like every wedding, emotions and stress run high during the planning process. We’ve got that fact down to a science. But the stress can become personally attached, as we’ve seen when dealing with all things pertaining to the bridal party.
But now you’ve asked your friend/relative/colleague to be a part of your wedding party, she accepts, but then has a change of heart. It is heartbreaking. While tradition (wayyy back) dictated that only illness or a death in the family would be the sole reason for reneging on being a bridesmaid, we all know today is much different than days from the past. Someone may relinquish from wanting to be a bridesmaid due to pregnancy, a critical business-trip, school demands or family issues. Or perhaps a jealous maid. Or maybe she only accepted because you were in her wedding. With our current bride’s dilemma, this particular bridesmaid just didn’t understand the financial commitment being a bridesmaid entails.
Our professional on whether or not to replace her or not is this:
If the situation has happened very early-on, then there is no harm in asking another person to step-in, someone who may not have even known they weren’t chosen in the first place. If the ex-bridesmaid creates more drama or has “let the cat out of the bag”, you could still ask someone else, explain what has happened, and as a nice gesture, offer to absorb the costs associated.
However if the planning is well under way or the bridesmaid backed out last minute, it’s best to carry on without that attendant—you wouldn’t want to offend someone by asking them in the eleventh hour. Just be sure your programs, table seating cards, and processional are all up to par with the change.
Give us a holler, we’d love to help you solve your wedding woes, or get you started on the right path.